Can Potatoes Fly
by Son James
Summary: Some things are better left undiscovered, the possibility of potatoes flying of their own volition is one of them,add Larxenes room, Axel and Homemade Hojo Pie and you get the chaos that only exists within the Organization...or is that non existence?


_**Can Potatoes Fly- Chapter 1.**_

_**The Experiment:**_

The Castle That Never Was. This world of silent darkness truly is a haven of Nobodies and Heartless alike, it's dimly lit streets and unnaturally quiet residents made for a perfect place of contemplation and reflection... at least it used to be...before the Organization arrived.

(Extremely long and drawn out scream) "You guys did WHAT?" (Another extremely long and drawn out scream)

"I-ah-ah we- we were just- um…" Axel tried to stutter out an excuse to a very pissed of Larxene.

"Oh, so it's WE now is it? So you had accomplices? Huh, ANSWER ME!" Larxene screeched at him.

"What the hell is going on here?" Demyx entered the room along with a short boy currently picking bits of potato out of his blond, spiky hair. "If Axel shot another bird then I'll call the RSPCA because it's not right to take a little birds life and…" Demyx trailed of when he saw the look on Larxene's face.

"Actually, we were just gonna go and…" Roxas said, as he and Demyx tried to slowly edge out of the room.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE... If either of you value your lives, or your lower halves, turn around, NOW!" Larxene said in a calm and sickly sweet voice.

Roxas and Demyx froze. They slowly turned on the spot and looked at Larxene. She had a crazed look in her eyes and they knew she meant business.

"Now, someone better tell me WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED, or I'm going to shove all three of you into a blender, TOGETHER!" She looked first at Axel, who cowered behind a chair, then at Demyx, who went and cowered next to Axel, and finally at Roxas, who whimpered something incoherent about a dog and a duck coming to save him. Then he scratched his head and muttered to himself "what?"

Before Roxas had a chance to contemplate his strange comment, Larxene turned around and glared at him intensely, and he returned to whimpering.

Zexion entered the room with his nose buried in the latest best seller, **"The Joys of cooking Shinra Executives"** **By Rufus Shinra**, with curly letters down the bottom spelling **"Featuring Grandma Shinra's Famous Homemade Hojo Pie!" **

"They were doing some moronic experiment to see if they could make a potato fly." Zexion mumbled. He then took a seat next to the one Axel and Demyx were currently hiding behind, looked at them for a moment, them dismissed it and continued reading.

Just as Larxene was about to most likely bite their heads off, she was cut off by a shriek from the bottom of the castle that rebounded off the walls. It consisted of one word.

"_AXEL!" _ Suddenly, Vexen appeared with a ravenous look on his face. He quickly scanned the room. "There you are, you PYSCHOTIC PYROMANIAC!" He threw Axel across the room and pinned him to the wall. "You DESTROYED MY LAB! I'm gonna kill you! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Vexen was panting and glaring at Axel. The red headed pyro was speechless. Then finally, after a moment of awkward silence that seemed to stretch on for an eternity, Demyx spoke up.

"Um, ah Vexen? Funny story actually." Vexen didn't take his eyes off Axel, who was petrified. "It wasn't Axel who destroyed your lab." Demyx laughed nervously. "It... um, it was... me" He practically whispered the last word. Vexen lost the murderous look from his eyes. But it was quickly replaced by insanity when he turned his gaze upon Demyx.

"I'm _terribly_ sorry for the mistake, Axel." Axel looked confused and relieved slightly, until Larxene stepped forward.

"Oh no, don't celebrate yet" An evil grin spread across her face. "I was looking forward to watching you get pulverised to a little red mush, but a little disappointed that I wasn't the one that would do it. But now, YOU'RE MINE!" She laughed evilly and grabbed Axel's collar. Larxene headed in the direction of a coffee table covered in phonebooks, with Axel stumbling along awkwardly behind her.

"Do you remember my _lovely_ cousin, Clarabelle? The one that had a real_ fondness _for you?" Axel shuddered. "We ALL know how much _you_ like it when she VISITS!" Axel was speechless. All he could do was mouth the word 'No' over and over again. Larxene pushed him to the floor harshly and started looking for the phonebook for Tennessee. She looked at Vexen expectedly, he didn't realise that was her way of saying "help me or die." Then after a moment his brain clicked and he went to help her search.

Meanwhile, Demyx was standing in the middle of the room, looking confused as to why he wasn't being shoved into a test tube or being turned into the worlds first frozen Nobody, and was extremely relived about that exact fact. When they couldn't find Clarabelle's number, Larxene became even more pissed off, (somehow defying the laws of agitation), picked up the phonebook and tore it in half in one swift movement.

Axel and Demyx looked at each other in shock as they watched Larxene rip up the phonebook into little pieces and swear repeatedly in a random language. Vexen was just standing there looking exasperated with his head in his hands.

It was at that moment that Axel and Demyx exchanged glances and silently agreed that they had to get out while Larxene was preoccupied with the remains of the phonebook. Just as Axel made to get up off the floor as quietly as he could, Vexen contemplated what he was doing up here in the first place, and remembered with an evil Grinch- like grin spreading across his face.

He darted to where Demyx was slowly making his way to the door, dismissing Axel who was frozen in a weird squat, and waited silently behind the clueless nobody. Demyx froze when he finally felt Vexen's presence behind him and slowly turned around to face him.

Demyx saw the evil grin on Vexen's face and smiled weakly. Vexen's grin grew impossibly wider as he slowly brought his hands up from his sides and, as Demyx watched in horror, snapped both his fingers simultaneously.

Demyx was instantly sealed in an impenetrably thick layer of ice. The occupants of the room watched as Demyx's eyes swivelled around wildly, giving them all petrified looks. Vexen cackled and started dragging the frozen Nobody away to his lab. There, he would experiment and do god knows what to Demyx as a punishment.

Meanwhile, Roxas had become bored and walked away from the impending carnage. On his way down one of the castles many identical corridors, he bumped into Saix who was on his way to check on everyone in a delusional effort to make himself feel important.

On his way down there, Saix had stepped in an odd looking mush and was currently inspecting said mush when he crossed paths with Roxas, who was calmly walking away from the room where most of the Organization were currently located.

Saix, having finished scraping off the unidentified remains of what he thought oddly resembled mash potato, decided to look up at Roxas. He gave the boy a suspicious look and the answering shrug he got was far from helpful. As Roxas turned to walk away he stopped him with a simple "Wait", and not willing to get into a confrontation which would most likely alert Larxene to his location, Roxas stopped and turned around slowly.

"What is going on in there?" No. VII asked curiously. Roxas answered far too quickly for his liking with a statement that in all his years dealing with the Organizations weirdness, he had honestly never heard anything quite like it.

"Their havin' a potato party." Roxas replied with another shrug. Without another word, he turned and started to walk away before stopping and turning back to the now incredibly confused Saix. Roxas looked at him and said, "I wouldn't go in there if I were you... I really wouldn't." Saix looked more bamboozled than ever. "Especially if you value your sanity." With that, he turned and walked away, leaving Saix utterly perplexed, while muttering to himself, "and your lower half." Then he grinned an evil Vexen-ish grin and chuckled to himself.

Saix contemplated Roxas's evil Vexen- like chuckle for a moment, before walking straight towards the room where his colleagues were. When he ventured far enough to see his co-workers ... saying this scene shocked him would be an understatement.

The first thing he saw was Axel frantically running around the room, dodging pieces of what looked like a phonebook being throw at him by none other than the thunder-bitch. Meanwhile, Zexion was sitting in a chair with his nose buried in a bizarrely titled book, and there was a puddle on the floor Saix didn't even want to ask about.

He looked down the hall to Larxene's room and saw it was covered in the mush he saw earlier, so he decided to investigate. Unnoticed by anyone in the room, Saix walked straight to the hall, dodging a couple of chunks of phonebook. He made it across the room and the hall unharmed. Then he examined what use to be Larxene's room.

One of the walls was missing. The remains of her bed were nothing but torn chunks of mattress and shredded sheets, the walls were black with ash or soot or something that was the result of a probable explosion. There was a gaping hole where most of the floorboards used to be. Not to mention the walls were covered in what Saix now knew was potato.

After watching the whole incident play out from a balcony directly across from Larxene's room, Xigbar and Luxord had been relatively entertained for the last half an hour or so. Xigbar had to stop himself from laughing too loudly when he saw the petrified Axel being pinned to the wall by the mad scientist. And again as he was dragging away Demyx to his destroyed lab. Vexen had probably not realised this fact at the time, Xigbar had thought to himself, but still the scientist would have thought up something to ensure Demyx's suffering.

"I wager 50 munny you can't hit our esteemed second in command from here."

Xigbar didn't even have to contemplate as he pulled out one of his arrow guns and loaded it with a rubber dart. Luxord grinned delightedly.

"Oh, is that so?" Xigbar raised his eyebrow and took aim. "I'll hit him right between the eyes!" he said excitedly, not unlike a child who had just opened his presents on Christmas morning.

Saix saw what looked like a fragment of some type of explosive and bent down just as Xigbar fired. It soared over his head and stuck to the wall behind him. Saix straightened up and glared straight out the gaping hole where the wall used to be. Just as he had done this, Xigbar had already reloaded and a second dart had flown through the air...

And hit Saix right between the eyes.

"YES!" Xigbar jumped up in triumph as Luxord swore repeatedly under his breath."X marks the spot. Cough it up bud!" Xigbar held his hand out expectantly in front of Luxord's face and he reluctantly pulled out a fifty and shoved it at him.

"My dear Xigbar," Luxord said as he placed his hand on the excited gunslinger's shoulder, "You do realise...He is going to kill you, slowly...and painfully." Luxord exaggerated the last word unnecessarily, but it had the same effect. He looked pleased as the truth dawned on Xigbar and his arrogant smile was replaced by a look of terror.

Suddenly Xigbar had a vision, (possibly of the future,) of him being chased around the castle by Saix wielding a giant sword above his unnaturally spiky hair. Xigbar shook away the disturbing images and turned to Luxord with a not so reassured grin on his face.

"He...ah... he probably doesn't even know who did it." Xigbar said with a nervous smile. "Do you think he does?" he asked Luxord. As Xigbar asked this, his eyes slowly scanned the remains of Larxene's bedroom, waiting for the moment when Saix's face would pop up out of nowhere and chop of his beloved ponytail.

"Of course my friend..." Luxord looked at Xigbar sarcastically. "I mean, its not like you're the only person in the castle who uses a gun now is it?" he contemplated this for a moment before muttering "Nice knowing you" then chuckling to himself and walking away slowly.

"Oh, and by the way", Luxord called out over his shoulder, "If I were you, I'd start running." Xigbar was about to ask about Luxord's comment, but he knew exactly why. With dread in the pit of his stomach, Xigbar quickly hid his gun and caught up to Luxord. Falling into step beside him, Xigbar kept looking over his shoulder every few seconds as they made their way down a flight of stairs to the room where the rest of the organisation was,and the scene that awaited them...

While my current story is on hiatus due to severe writers block i thought id throw this into the air and see how it went. Please read and review and Dr Geros Final Revenge will return with a new chapter within the next few weeks. **SonJames**


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